So a friend of mine is getting married and doesn’t want kids at her wedding – not a problem, her wedding, her rules. However, her brother just had a baby and is insisting that he be allowed to bring her (one of the reasons being that people will want to see her). I have watched my friend go back and forth on this, yet happy that she is standing her ground. If her brother lived out of town, I could see wanting the child there as it would be harder to leave the baby and perhaps harder for family and friends to see her. But he lives in town with his sister and they have taken visitors to their house for infant viewings. The main issue with her brother though is a mistake so many parents make after having a child – and that is staying with that child. He and his wife are nervous about leaving the baby and don’t want to leave her with anyone!! People, you need to get out and get out quickly, LEAVE THAT CHILD ASAP!
I truly think the longer you wait to leave your child with a babysitter (or even your significant other) the harder it becomes for you. You will be more nervous the longer you wait and you will be more paranoid the longer you wait. You will start believing that you are the only person who is truly capable of watching your child & suddenly, you can’t leave them with anyone. The anxiety you feel over anyone else watching but you becomes all- consuming. You stop going out, you no longer see friends (unless they want to come over and watch you watch your child); essentially you miss out on being an adult. Now, I am hardly saying that we should shirk our duty as parents and spend all our time apart from our children but adults still need adult time. If you spend too much time with your child, they will develop an unhealthy dependence on you. Isn’t out job as parents to teach our children to be independent and self-sufficient so when the leave our house they are able to go into real world and are able to, not just cope, but take care of themselves? What a disservice we do if out child is dependent upon us for daily care – what happens when they go to college? Do they even go then? My daughter was skeptical about riding the bus at a new school when she started first grade. For awhile I debated just driving her every day, until a good friend looked at me and said “Are you crazy? What happens on a day then when you can’t drive her? Say you are sick? Or in the hospital? Or don’t have a car? How much harder is it going to be then for your daughter after you have fed into her fear of riding the bus by driving her daily. She made an excellent point. My daughter took the bus and her fears were dispelled after the first day. Our kids can, will and should survive without us. Start that independence quickly – get a babysitter!
~and let your sister have her day – no need to share the spotlight with an infant…in my opinion ; )